Chapter Text
Hunter had never been more confused. He'd snuck out to try and steal the Titan Blood at Eclipse Lake before Kikimora's squad could retrieve it, in order to prove that his uncle could still trust him after he failed to retrieve the palismen from Hexside.
Kikimora, however, was absurdly paranoid and in keeping his distance from her lest he get blasted by fire had almost immediately been captured by the Owl Lady and her talking dog. The Owl Lady had, so he thought, gone completely senile and was convinced that she could turn into a harpy. As their prisoner he was led through the mines that lead to Eclipse Lake, stopping periodically to do such things as run headfirst into a wall of ice or get shot ou with a mining beam to try and force the harpy transformation. They completely ignored his warning not to touch the fool's blood and were only saved when the Owl Lady got a message on her scroll, read it, and declared that "Boots" said that "Sad Lad" was right. He was apparently Sad Lad, so who in the Titan's name was Boots?
Shortly afterward, Kikimora's contingent of scouts and abomitons caught up and he was able to escape and head for the lake only to find that the supposed font of Titan Blood was dry as a bone. Knowing the price of failure was steep, and that it would be even worse since he snuck out of the castle without permission, Hunter did the only thing he could do: Dig his own grave to save his Uncle the trouble.
The Owl Lady, seemingly not in fact senile as she was in harpy-like form, approached not long after and tried to deter him from that course of action. When that failed, she picked him up and carried him like a sack of grain all the way back to her shack in the woods, stopping only to eat some voles for some reason.
The only good thing to come from today's events was that, at some point, Hunter started to understand his palisman's chirps, Flapjack's attempts to comfort him.
He had reluctantly explained all of this when under interrogation by the human, the youngest Blight, and two more witchlings, one about two years younger than the others, dark-skinned, and excitable, and one short but muscular about the same as as the human and Blight.
Hunter didn't know what kind of mind games they were playing, acting all friendly and curious and concerned for his well-being. While the human sat there in her pajamas in the middle of the afternoon eating soup.
"So, you can't go home," the human... Luz, said between spoonfuls, "Because Belos is an evil son of a bad word who'll kill you for failure even though you weren't actually on a mission so Eda brought you here because you need a place to stay?"
"Yes, that's the gist of what I said... Mostly," Hunter admitted. "But... My Uncle isn't evil, he's just... Got really high standards."
"Is he the one who gave you your scars?" the muscular witch in the glasses asked.
Hunter shrunk in on himself. "His condition can make his temper volatile when it acts up." Then he bit his tongue, as far as he knew only the... Luz knew about his condition.
"The condition where he has to murder and eat innocent palismen?" the young dark-skinned witch asked nervously while holding a blue chameleon, presumably his palisman, close to his chest. Well, never mind then.
That was another thing. A number of palismen were here. Flapjack was fine, but cute and innocent or not they were still made entirely of wild magic and...
One of them, a flying purple snake with a green ball at its tail was hissing and rattling at Flapjack. He could only make out his own palisman's side of the conversation, however, as the cardinal chirped back.
"She carved you herself...? Wait, how could you pick your own form...? An egg? My carver never would have thought of that in a million years... I was made to be a friend to someone that needed one. My first witch's story... Doesn't end happily and I was alone for a long time. But when I met Hunter I just knew he needed me like my first witch did, maybe even more, and I knew I had to step in." Hunterwasn'tstarting to tear up at hearing that. Then he had to laugh because Flapjack responded to the last rattle with "Of course you can call me Grandpa Flap!"
"Is that your palisman?" He asked Luz, gesturing to the snake.
"Yep!" She said happily. She then put her mouth a the edge of her bowl and drank what remained of its contents down like someone raised in a barn. "Stringbean the Snakeshifter! I carved her with Eda like, the morning after I foiled your palisman heist" Not how he'd put it. "She's.. Perfect, my perfect little power noodle" she said while cooing as the snake came by to be scratched behind the catlike ears that she had.
That tickled something in Hunter's brain... Something he'd read a few years ago. "A snakeshifter? Those are..."
"Special? Perfect? Adorable?"
"Extinct," Hunter replied. "Not counting your palisman, of course. From what I recall they were an ancient species of beast demon, originating in the Hecktaceous Period. They're theorized to be the evolutionary ancestors of all members of theBasiliscusgenus of demons."
"Basilisks?" Luz asked.
"All recorded species," Hunter confirmed. "Greater, red scale, green scale, yellow eye, lesser, and boney. And a couple of other serpentine beast demons, like nagas. There are also some theories that the lamia and gorgon families of biped demons may also be related but that's a little harder to test."
Luz responded by tickling the scales on her palisman's belly. "Awe, you chose to be like Vee, didn't you?" Rattling. "Yes I do love snakes but you'd have been the best snake no matter what kind you chose to be." Hissing. "Okay, yeah, that's a good point."
The white cat palisman took one look at what it's snakeshifter cohort was experiencing and trotted up to Blight. It mowed once, then flopped down to present its belly which Blight immediately started scratching. So that's her palisman and...
"I spoke with the Emperor," Hunter began as he took his last shot at being able to go home and keep his life. "He says... He says he'd be willing to let you both keep your palismen," she said to Luz and Blight. "And that he spoke to the Titan. Blight... You're like Lilith, you don't need a sigil like most witches do. He said he's even willing to let you skip through the ranks once you complete scout training. You'd be second only to me and be allowed to do research or pick and choose your missions."
"Are you really trying to recruit us here and now?" Luz said incredulously.
"Getting you two to join might be my only chance at this point," Hunter replied.
"You're literally afraid for your life, that he'll actually kill you, his alleged nephew, for failure," Blight replied. "Why wouldanyonewant to work for him knowing that?"
"...I might be able to talk him into letting you have private rooms at the castle?" Hunter offered sheepishly.
"Hunter, the Titan came to me in a dream and told me that your uncle is a lying liar who lies," Luz said, "and I know that was probably just the common mold messing with me, but that's more trustworthy than anything I've heard from Belos since I got here."
"For all we know the second we step into the palace with you we'd be arrested and the scouts would take Ghost and Stringbean away from us," Blight added.
"So then we'd have to rescue our precious babies, burn down the palace, feed Belos his own bones, it'd be awhole day," Luz continued.
"We have better things to do with our time," Blight finished.
"Besides, even if we believed him," Luz concluded, "I'm not going to betray Eda like that after everything she's done to me."
Hunter sighed. "It was worth a shot." Now the only way to regain safety at home would be to...
His thoughts trailed off as he noticed it, propped up against the wall in a corner. A briefcase-like shape with a massive yellow eye on it. The portal!
Hunter leaped to his feat.
"Hunter, don't!" Luz shouted as she realized what he saw. He hesitated for just a second as he considered whether he was willing to betray this hospitality...
And then the next thing he knew, his ribs hurt and he was pinned to the ground. As his senses came back to him the bespectacled, muscular witch was on top of him with a fist raised.
"Don't even think about it," she said confidently, her beelike palisman floating over her shoulder and buzzing as if to back her up.
"Okay," Hunter agreed while suddenly feeling uncomfortably warm in his face area.
TLOA
Camila stood nervously in the clearing with the old shack as a flamboyantly dressed middle-aged man took surveillance of the area, casting what she assumed to be scanning spells and using the amulet around his neck, and the eye inside it, as some sort of focus.
"Thank you again for coming out, Doctor Strange, sir," she said. "I know you must be very busy."
"Oh, think nothing of it," the man replied. "The truth of the matter is I find coming out to small towns to solve magic problems to be a relaxing break from my day job. Except for Gravity Falls... Everyweekwith that place."
"Oh?"
"The town is a hotspot for supernatural activity in North America," Strange replied. "Mostly harmless as long as you don't poke the wrong thing, but... My second cousin twice removed Tad Strange, who ironically is the most normal person in my extended family, lives there and I made the mistake of letting him give out my number."
Camila immediately thought back to all of the 'animal emergencies' at the clinic that turned out to be minor or non-existent issues that the pet owner could have solved with a quick internet search. "I understand completely."
"Still, this might take a little time but a portal that won't open is a relatively simple matter," Strange observed. "The hardest part is figuring out where in the cosmos it's meant to go too."
"Somewhere called the Demon Realm," Camila answered.
"At the risk of sounding pretentious... Do you have any idea just how many dimensions are called 'The Demon Realm?'" Doctor Strange asked rhetorically. "It's like naming a town Springfield, you can't go exploring the cosmos without tripping over a 'The Demon Realm.' Sometimes literally. I'm going to have to get something a little more... Concrete, but it's fine. I relish a challenge and this should end much more enjoyable than my usual duties of vanquishing Dark magicians, cataloging arcane lore, keeping the true nature of giraffes a secret, and protecting this reality from extradimensional incursions."
"What was that about giraffes?" Camila asked.
"Forget you heard that," Strange said by way of asside. "Anyway, I think I've gotten everything I can get from examining the physical structure. There's certainly some sort of dimensional barrier here but the magics aren't like anything I've encountered personally. I may have to do some digging in the libraries back at the Sanctum Sanctorum. Shall we return to your home for the conference?"
"Of course, Doctor," Camila agreed as she started walking back up the path.
"Please, call me Stephen," he replied as he followed.
Back at the house, they found Vee and Masha very carefully setting up the computer and a webcam in the living room. Vee was in her human form.
"Okay, Mrs. Noceda," Masha greeted as they came in. "We should be all set up as soon as you plug this USB jack into your phone," they said while holding up the cord in question.
"It's a good thing Luz thought to take her laptop back to the Demon Realm," Vee added.
"I'll say," Masha added. "I imagine this would be a lot more awkward if everyone was passing a phone around." They then walked up and extended a hand. "Doctor Strange? My Name's Masha and it's an honor to meet you, sir."
Stephen hesitated for a moment before taking their hand. "Ah, yes, Loki's apprentice. You know, there are a few seats open at Strange Academy if you'd be interested in more varied and... consistently scheduled tutelage."
"President Laufeyson told me about that place," Masha replied. "They said that of the three students they sponsored to go there, one failed to receive any accommodations necessary to physically get into the school until midway through the second semester, and another one was killed in a fight caused and escalated by a combination of poor communication and the incompetence of the staff. I'll take my chances with the apprenticeship."
"Fair enough, I've been meaning to talk to Jericho about some of the stuff that happened while I was indisposed," Stephen admitted. "And if you're Masha, then this must me that you," he said while pointing to Vee, "are the refugee?"
"Um, yeah," she said. "I'm Vee... Vee Noceda," she clarified nervously but happily.
"Now, before we call Luz," Stephen began, "would you mind if I examined you with the Eye of Agamotto? Any information at all I could gain about your realm of origin or its inhabitants could prove invaluable when it comes to opening the portal from this side."
Vee gulped. "If it'll help Luz."
The sorcerer's amulet levitated until it was at his brow. "You may want to close your eyes, this will be bright." Vee obliged and a bright light shone from the amulet for a few moments before dimming down. "Hmm... Odd."
"What?"
"You claim to be a demon," Stephen noted, "but your nature is closer to that of an elderspawn."
"...Like symbiotes?" Vee asked.
"Sort of," Stephen clarified. "An elderspawn is any offspring, creation, or descendant there-of of an Elder God that is not classified as a deity or similar existence in their own right. Symbiotes are elderspawn of Knull, an alien Elder God, while the Gigantes are one of the elderspawn races of Gaea, an Elder God from here on Earth. Admittedly, there are some... The similarity between your inherent magic and that of Knull, but I doubt you're in any way related to the klyntar."
"...When Luz was here last, her girlfriend Amity said that all complex life in the demon realm was born from the decaying bodies of creatures called Titans," Masha added. "And I'm guessing not the Greek ones."
"I'd need to see one of the bodies of these creatures personally to confirm, but that would do it," Stephen acknowledged. "Now all that's left to do is call our lost child."
Camila plugged her phone into the computer and sent a video call request to Luz. After a few minutes, the computer monitor lit up with an image of her missing girl, sitting in the room she'd shown off in that first video she'd sent. It seemed like Luz's own laptop/phone rig was at the foot of her bed while Luz sat crosslegged further up.
"Hola mamá, hola hermanita!" Luz greeted. "Hey Masha, and hello Doctor Strange." Luz seemed somewhat excited to be talking to the sorcerer, even via a video call.
"Hola mija, ¿estás sola?"
"Well, Hooty's here," Luz replied, "but Eda's out. She took Hunter clothes shopping." Hunter, the young man who... Okay, the story was a little confusing but if Camila understood it he was raised in a cult but recently ran away after becoming convinced that his abusive uncle would kill him and Eda had given him a place to stay. She wished the boy well."King's taking a nap. But I've got Stringbean with me!" The adorable little snake creature floated into the camera's view with a happy rattle.
"What is that marvelous creature?" Strange asked.
"Stringbean? She's my palisman! When witches on the Boiling Isles reach a certain point in their education they receive a staff made of palistrom wood. Sometimes they carve their own, sometimes it's carved for them, and sometimes they adopt one that used to be bonded to someone else." Luz explained. "Atop the staff is a figurine of an animal, and when the witch bonds to their staff by declaring their heart's desire the figurine comes to life. My mentor Eda helped me carve Stringbean and we're bonded, friends and partners till the end!" The snake in question gave a triumphant hiss as she flexed upward. "That's right, Stringbean, from the shell to the grave."
"What a wonderous and wholesome way of acquiring a familiar," Strange observed with a smile. "If you hadn't told me what they're made of I would have assumed that they were a talisman that was your pal."
Luz gave a goofy smile. "They are! Eda told me that palistrom wood is named after palismen, not the other way around. Anyway, there should be one other person—"
There was a loud "Hoot!" and the sound of a door slamming open followed by someone running up the stairs. The door to Luz's room burst open and a voice called out "I'm not late am I?"
"Right on time, Hermosa," Luz reassured the offscreen person before scooting over and patting the spot next to her. Moments later Amity entered the frame and took her seat. The cat-topped staff she was carrying quickly transformed into a white cat and curled up before her. Stringbean immediately flew down to curl up next to the cat.
"I'd have been over sooner," Amity said, "but my mother somehow found out I was going to be meeting an 'important person from the human realm' today and insisted on reading my palm to find out how it would go."
"That sucks," Luz said sympathetically and wrapped an amry around Amity. "Anyway, introductions. This is my awesome girlfriend Amity, and Amity, this is Doctor Strange."
Amity got an expression on her face. "Question... Is that a 'Superhero' name or something else? I've been meaning to ask but it never came up before now."
"It's fine," Strange said, "I get that question all the time. My real name is Stephen Strange and I am in fact an actual medical doctor. I don't really have a 'superhero name' as you so put it. The closest thing would be the official title of the position I hold."
"Position?"
"I am the Earth's Sorcerer Supreme," Strange explained, and suddenly Amity flinched. "I take it that that term means something to you?"
Amity did not answer, so Luz spoke up. "Amity has something of an... Issue with sorcerers. She's trying to get over it but... Turns out that a lot of her knowledge of them came from this old book in the Local library that has some misinformation. Like that all sorcerers get all of their power from deals with dark entities, or that blood sacrifice is a lot more common than it is."
"The book listed among the worst of them all an ancient being, warped into something no longer human, who called themself the Sorcerer Supreme and achieved his power by hunting down and devouring not only other sorcerers, but witches, other magic users, and the occasional supernatural creature in order to steal their knowledge and abilities for himself," Amity finished. "Luz says that's wrong, that's not what the Sorcerer Supreme is like, but..."
"It's not wrong so much as it's misleading," Strange said, causing both girls to go wide-eyed. "It sounds like that book was describing what sorcery was like during the Hyborean Age, roughly ten thousand years ago give or take a few centuries. In that ancient time, what we here on Earth call demons, Earth's more malevolent Elder Gods such as Cthon and Set, and alien entities such as Shuma-Gorath or the so-called Great Old Ones were far more active. They formed cults about themselves, and were more than willing to trade knowledge and power with those who worshiped them and committed sacrifice or acts of conquest on their behalf."
"Additionally," Strange continued, "this was a rather brutish time. Agriculture was in its infancy, predatory megafauna was everywhere, and what few civilizations that existed maintained their power and territory exclusively by the sword. The desire to be stronger at any cost was present in many of the less fortunate and Dark and Black magics are a quick route to power if one is desperate enough to risk corruption or if one can stomach the more gruesome extremes they can reach. Meanwhile, most practitioners of White Magic hoarded their secrets jealously, refusing to let the common rabble share in their power and thus were preventing the existence of more moral alternatives."
"What's the difference?" Amity asked. "We don't really have... Color-based classifications of magic. Well, we do but that's... complicated."
"Dark magic is magic that is inherently harmful or corruptive, either to the user or to the things it is being worked on. Black Magic is magic that is derived from life and death. Flesh and blood, sex and violence." Camila noticed that Luz gained a contemplative expression. "It's vulgar and visceral, and practitioners of Black magic almost always live in the world as they interact with it, meaning that any changes they wreak on the world will affect them as well. Light magic is magic that is inherently helpful and affirming, like most healing magics, while White magic draws on higher powers and clean energies. White magicians usually live apart from the world." The Doctor shrugged. "Of course, there are no hard binaries in nature and thus none in magic: If I were to cut myself to use my blood to power a spell, that would be Black magic. But that same blood sacrifice used to summon a nature spirit to aid in the working of the spell would be White magic. I am a White magician, but I was the Master of Black Magics before I was Sorcerer Supreme."
"Dark and Black magics are not inherently evil, and White and Light magics are not inherently good, but stereotypes persist to the contrary for a reason: When your power comes from flesh and fluid, it becomes easy to see living creatures as sources of power and when all you can do is twist and destroy every problem becomes something that looks like it can be broken."
"Thank you, that... That explanation is helpful," Amity replied. Luz, for her part, seemed to have gears turning in her head. "And, as for this alleged ancient Sorcerer Supreme?"
"When you've studied and practiced sorcery enough, the sorcerer will begin to develop inherent magical abilities," Strange explained. "For example, when I use telepathy or astral projection, those aren't spells I'm casting. Those are my inherent powers and I'd be able to use them. This will be important later."
"I've got my fingers crossed for shapeshifting," Masha interjected.
"Okay."
"As for the Sorcerer Supreme... While there is a degree of inherent power in the title for the most part it simply refers to, well, the acknowledged authority on mystical matters in a given dimension. I am the Sorcerer Supreme of Earth, but my wife Clea is Sorcerer Supreme of The Dark Dimension."
"And how does one obtain this acknowledgment?" Amity asked.
"Generally speaking, there are three qualifications and one must meet them all," Strange replied. "One must be the most powerful magic user of that dimension. Now, note that this does not mean you must benativeto that dimension, and additionally despite the way the title is worded one need not be aliteral sorcerer. The Sorcerer Supreme of Limbo is originally from Earth, and one of the young magicians I have lined up as a potential successor, while of a strong magical bloodline, mostly uses artifacts to work magic."
"Magik and Sister Grimm," Luz noted.
"The very same," Strange confirmed. "Sir Isaac Newton, meanwhile, was an alchemist." From the corner of her eye, Camila saw Masha reach into their bag and pull out a notebook that they started writing things down.
"...That would have been Eda, here, before she lost her magic," Amity mused.
"The second qualification," Strange continued, "is that one must have the widest breadth of knowledge of magic in that dimension. Now, this must include native magics, but is not nessesarily limited to it."
Amity looked over to Luz. "I think that's Luz?"
This prompted a snorting laugh from Camila's daughter. "Good one, Amity. I've still got miles to go."
"Do you? You're the only person in the history of Hexside to officially studyeverytrack, even before Belos took over and instituted the coven system," Amity countered. "And you're doing good. You're soaking up magical theory and spell knowledge like a sponge. You've taken well to every lesson Eda gave you, you've memorized all her salvaged books on wild magic."
"Not all of them," Luz mumbled. "Not yet anyway."
"And then there's the glyphs. You've been working hard to figure out how they work and how to combine them into new spells. You probably know more about how our magic works than anyone else on the Isles and you're only going to get better," Amity finished. "If you're not there yet you will be in a couple years, tops."
"I appreciate the vote of confidence."
"Finally," Strange concluded, "and this is somewhat unintuitive: The aspiring Sorcerer Supreme must prove that they are willing to accept death without fear or hesitation."
"...Yikes," was the simultaneous reply from all four teens on both sides of the call.
"The position comes with a handful of responsibilities, such as archiving mystical knowledge and keeping such things out of the wrong hands," Strange added, "and but comes with a few perks such as arrested aging, improved memory and mental fortitude, and a tangible increase to raw magical power. However, in some dimensions the Sorcerer Supreme gains additional duties and, conversely additional boons. To cite Illyana again, the Sorcerer Supreme of Limbo is also the ruler of Limbo, the two positions are inextricably tied together."
"Okay," Amity said to Luz, "maybe youaren'tjust like this Magik hero."
"Yeah," Luz replied, "who in their right mind would wantmein charge of this place? If I ever rule the Boiling Isles it's proof that something's gone horribly, horribly wrong."
"The Sorcerer Supreme of Earth, meanwhile, is changed by a trinity of Elder Gods, the Vishanti, to protect the universe from extradimensional threats in exchange for those same beings providing part of the power of each spell they cast and, on occasion, divesting them of magical debts though that's only done sparingly." Strange paused and took a deep breath. "But... the Vishanti don't care if you're good or evil. All they care about is that you meet the qualifications for the job and are willing to uphold its duties. In the Hyborean age, the position of Sorcerer Supreme was usurped by the Cannibal Sorcerer Kulan Gath."
"...Wasn't he the body-stealing lich who turned the world into a sword and sandals dark fantasy universe for a few days back in the 80s?" Luz asked while clearly chilled.
"Yes, yes he was," Strange confirmed. Camila shuddered, she was a very little girl when that happened, and it... hadn't been pleasant. "Gath spent his youth enslaved to cruel and arrogant sorcerer... Technically, he didn't even have a name, Kulan Gath was the name of his master. Knowing each day that he could be killed on his master's whims, the young slave boy steeled himself and one day bludgeoned the sorcerer to death. He then took the sorcerer's name for himself, assumed his identity, and learned all he could from his occult library, at first for the sake of being strong enough to never be hurt again... But he was eventually consumed by the lust for power for its own sake. He sought out the Sorcerer Supreme for tutelage but was turned down. Out of spite, he began trading his own knowledge for that of others... But during a brawl with a rival who didn't want anything he had to offer, he tasted blood and discovered the inherent power he gained from his study of sorcery: to absorb the knowledge and arcane power of others, one bite at a time."
"He devoured every magic user he knew of until the breadth and depth of his abilities rivaled that of the man who had rejected him as a student... And then he ate the man alive, gaining the knowledge and power of the Sorcerer Supreme and, having long since made peace with the fact that he could die at any time, gained the position. From what it sounds like, that is the man Amity's book warned about. And I assure you," Strange finished, "he's the black sheep when it comes to my line of employment."
"Thank you for telling me that," Amity replied. "It... Does a lot to set my mind at ease and... I'm sorry, that took some time to explain and it sounds like your time is very valuable."
"Think nothing of it,' Strange reassured. "The truth is, that coming out to help with magic problems or educate others about sorcery is a much-needed break. I spent the last few weeks preparing for a high-stakes poker tournament where the prize was an antique Chinese oil lamp that, once every thousand years, canpermanentlyrestore one lost power to one person three times, by lighting it and blowing out the flame, regardless of whether you still possess the source of that power or even if it exists. Among the other players of the game were Doctor Doom, the Red Skull, and an avatar of Nyarlathotep the Black Pharoh. In comparison, this has been quite the chance to destress."
"...Did you win?" Luz asked nervously.
"Yes," Strange said confidently. "As of last night, the lamp in question is safely secured away in my rainy-day vault back at the sanctum. It'll probably come in handy in an apocalypse or two. I've even got some people in mind for who to use it on, just in case. Anyway, to the matter at hand: We have a locked portal that needs opening and a local teen stranded in another dimension. And unlike the last time I had to come out to Gravesfield for this problem, I won't have to spend a week explaining to a vapid princess that her home dimension wasnotthe source of all magic in the multiverse and the moral and ethical implications of the genocide she was guilty of."
"...There's a story there but I don't think I want to hear it," Vee noted.
"Yeah. So, the problem is the portal. The key is missing, and even if we had it it's broken," Luz explained. "We've found some leads on how the portal was originally made in the diary of Phillip Wittebane—"
"The Witch Hunter!?" Masha exclaimed.
"The what?" Amity asked.
"The Brothers Wittenbane," Masha replied. "I pointed out the statue of them in town when you were here. The older brother was allegedly seduced by a witch and his younger brother who went after them... did I not mention their names? And Luz, you lived here, how do you not...?"
"We only moved here a couple of years ago and I made a pretty bad first impression so..." Luz answered with a nervous laugh. "Anyway... He keeps mentioning the friends he's made in the Isles, so... Maybe... Maybe when he got here and saw that the witches were just regular people he changed for the better?" She asked hopefully.
"This is astounding!" Masha declared. "The answers to a mystery four hundred years in the making... This is... This is academic immortality. This is... Going to lookamazingon a scholarship application." They started writing things down furiously. "Not to mention that as the current manager of the Gravesfield Historical Society, I have adutyto record this..."
"So you got the job, then?" Amity asked.
"Luz, have you deciphered anything at all about Phillip's older brother? About Caleb Wittebane?" Masha said without replying to Amity.
"Nothing yet but I'll keep you posted. Anyway, the problem is we need Titan Blood to make a new portal key and some of the details of how the portal was made are sketchy... And Titan Blood is absurdly hard to find," Luz finished.
"And that's where I come in," Doctor Strange added. "I may be able to force the portal open from this side, but I need to know everything I can about the Demon Realm. I've already been informed that the complex life on the isles was born from creatures called Titans and a brief glance at Vee here using the Eye of Agamotto revealed that the inhabitants appear to be elderspawn rather than what we'd classify as true demons on Earth which suggests that the so-called Demon Realm is in fact nothing of the sort which, thankfully, narrows things down significantly. Now, does the dimension have a more specific name?"
"No," Amity answered. "Technically the dimension doesn't have a name at all as far as I know. The Demon Realm is technically the planet's name. The land mass we live on is called the Boiling Isles, but that's the best I can do."
"The sky is usually pink," Luz added. "The architecture and topography look vaguely like a Hieronymus Bosch painting. The ocean is constantly boiling, and a lot of land masses are islands or archipelagoes that formed around the decaying bodies of Titans who are... just absolutely huge. I'm pretty sure that they're dead Elder Gods. The Boiling Isles formed around the most intact Titan body and—"
"You've been living on a carcass this whole time?" Camila interrupted.
"...So I'm not super religious but I would appreciate it if you didn't talk about my god that way," Amity said in response. "But yes."
"Lo siento por la blasfema."
"Gracias, entiendo que esto te resulte extraño."
"That's all useful—" Doctor Strange was interrupted by a ringtone going off. A quick piano cord followed by high-pitched whistling accompanied an instrumental that managed to be both upbeat and eerie.
With a long-suffering sigh, the sorcerer withdrew a cell phone from his robes and answered. "I'm sort of in the middle of something, Mayor Cutebiker... Yes, I understand that.... Yes, the Avengers PR team does appreciate the endorsem*nt you gave for my services... I told you, Tyler, I wasdeadduring the summer of 2012." He pinched his nose. "Fine, I'll 'get on over there' momentarily."
Strange hung up and sighed again. "You aren't there foroneborderline apocalypse and you never hear the end of it..."
"...I'm just going to state for the record that it still freaks me out how casual you all are about how often your world almost ends," Amity said.
"You either get used to it or you go insane," Strange replied. "I have to go, I need to go negotiate a territory dispute between the forest gnomes and the manotaurs. Again."
"...You mean theminotaurs?" Camila asked.
"I wish," Strange said with a defeated sigh as he conjured a portal, and the living room was suddenly filled with the scent of an old-growth forest from the Pacific Northwest. "Before I go—"
A distant cry came out from Strange's portal, though for the life of her, Camila had no idea what "Shmebula!" was supposed to mean.
"Before I go, Luz, Amity... Anyone. Is there anything else of significance you can tell me about the demon realm?"
Luz scrunched up her face in concentration. "Oh," she suddenly said cheerfully, "it's the orignal home dimension of the giraffes!"
You could hear a pin drop in the time it took the sorcerer to react. "That... Is very useful information to have," he concluded.
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